Sisters Are The Best

We did not have the easiest of days yesterday, my sister and me. Mondays seldom feel like Mondays, but today was one. HR issues, packed meeting schedule, serious reminders that retail is a bear of a business, too many incoming phone calls. It was not the funnest day on record.

We did not have the easiest of days yesterday, my sister and me. Mondays seldom feel like Mondays, but today was one. HR issues, packed meeting schedule, serious reminders that retail is a bear of a business, too many incoming phone calls. It was not the funnest day on record.

But it was a day where the sun shined and we were healthy. We didn’t smile much, and Monday will roll into Tuesday a little bit, but we are good. Fine. OK.

After the day was over and the store was closed, we went to a kick-off event for a charity we both adore. She left work in her car, and I left work in mine. She ran her child to an engagement, and I went a picked mine up. We met up again at the event and never stopped smiling and laughing.

We were smiling and laughing because she pulled a stunt only she could. She fingered the sale rack and came up with this wicking doozy.

Casey and My Son

And we all rolled with laughter. And we’ll roll right through the week, and I know that, when I do not feel like smiling, I will look at this picture and know all is well with the world.

Work is work and play is play. We blend it all the time, but that doesn’t mean every day is easy.

Sloane

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It’s not a “Chick’s Blog” Until You Post a Photo of Your Cat

I was roaming through blogs the other day and realized that this blog is not officially written by “chicks” until we post an image of a darling cat

I was roaming through blogs the other day and realized that this blog is not officially written by two “chicks” until we post an image of a darling cat. The cuter the better. An “ahhhhh” inspiring photo is preferred if you take into consideration the other big-time-chick-bloggers. So…here ya go.

Lady Matilda, my daughter’s darling little grey cat.

Since the summer heat kicked in this pretty much all she does all day.
Since the summer heat kicked in this pretty much all she does all day.
This is her cute curled up pose. This is the pose that makes me want to snuggle with her.
This is her cute curled-up pose.

Casey

PS. I have to admit I love this tiny little girl.

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Seeing The Past

This past weekend, I traveled with my niece and her friend (and other members of my family) to an art festival in Salina, Kansas. These two young women were a laugh a minute.

This past weekend, I traveled with my niece and her friend (and other members of my family) to an art festival in Salina, Kansas. These two young women were a laugh a minute. Morning and night. Both super sharp and funny. How they can be witty at eight years old is a mystery, but they are. And they were holding their own with four adult women.

g and s in Salina

When I took this picture, I knew before I clicked the button that I was seeing the past in these two. My past. My past with my best friend. My wish for them was that, even if they weren’t to be each others best friend, they found one who loved them as much as they were loved. A friend that can keep secrets. One that knows when to laugh, when to cry, and when to sit quietly and listen.

c and me

I have mine. I met her when we were in 5th grade. We may have met in 4th, but the real fun began in 5th, and hasn’t stopped. There are secrets we will never tell, and there are stories that we do tell. We’ve spent time apart during college years, and we have lived in the same urban neighborhood for the past 20 years.

Fifth grade is more than a few years ago. Heck, it’s more like 38 years ago. Time does fly, but it has real wings when you have a best friend at your side.

Sloane

Notes: I was at the Smoky Hill River Festival with the girls. Definitely worth the trip. Photo #2 was taken earlier this year at the opening of the Mosaic Project for AIDS Walk Kansas City.

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Forever

One of the things I do that I love is volunteer at The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. Tonight, my volunteer job had me asking people who were coming to see the new exhibit how long they had been members of the Friends of Art.

One of the things I do that I love is volunteer at The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. I have vivid memories of the docents that brought paintings into our classroom in 5th grade at Bryant Elementary. My mind sees – and my nose still remembers – the smell of the school bus during our trips to The Nelson from way out in Waldo when we came “down” to see art with our junior high school art teacher.

Tonight, my volunteer job had me asking people who were coming to see the new exhibit, “Modern Mexico”, how long they had been members of the Friends of Art. I loved seeing the answers on their faces before their mouths issued a word. “I joined tonight,” she said with sparkling eyes. “Forever,” said the older gentleman, “I really don’t know. I was a member for a long time, and then I got sick, and now I am a member again.”

Their prize for answering me was that I christened them with a sticker that shared with the world their membership years. I then told them all what their membership does for the museum by keeping it free for the public and open year round. It helps bring art to the schools and bring the schools to the art. Heck, it even helps make free member events like tonight free.

Nelson membership stickers

Recently, a staff member at The Nelson told me my number. My years of membership at my museum stunned me a bit. I couldn’t possibly be as old as that number was big! So, tonight I chose two stickers for myself as I was leaving the museum. One is where I am, and one is where I am headed.

I think a quarter of a century sounds fantastic and the number twenty-five seems youthful. Just like me!

Sloane

p.s. “Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera and Masterpieces of Modern Mexico” will be at The Nelson-Atkins until August 18, 2013. Don’t miss it. The colors alone will blown you away. Find out more here.

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I am a fat girl

Will I always be a fat girl? It will never matter what size I am on the outside, I fear will forever be a fat girl inside.

Will I always be a fat girl?

It will never matter what size I am on the outside, I fear I will forever be a fat girl inside. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. I love myself. I am confident. I see my beauty. I didn’t state that I believe I am ugly. I just see myself as fat.

Does this have anything to do with reality? Since beauty is relative to culture and geography. I guess it depends on where I am standing.

In my late teens and early twenties, I became very obese. I can go into a long story about genetics, depression and identity. But take it from me: I gained an outrageous amount of weight.

Then, I met an amazingly kind and level-headed doctor, who showed me the way to a healthier and much thinner me. I lost over 120 pounds during my first lifestyle evolution.

I went on to lose more, but  after that 120 mark  I learned to watch the numbers you get from blood tests – not a scale.

I look nothing like the Casey from those years. The photos I have stashed away deep in a closet look like a stranger to me.

After my weight loss, I suffered through two surgeries to correct some of the damage my body had suffered. And I still hope to complete that surgical journey one day. It has been scary, painful and exhilarating.

One day, many years after my weight loss and surgeries, I made myself a promise to never again judge myself by my size and to let go of the “fat girl” forever.

So why is she still here?

Because this week the Disney empire carved the soul out of little girl named Merida to fit her into a smaller dress.

Everywhere I look, the message is skinny is beautiful, skinny is healthy, skinny means you have self control, skinny is sexy, skinny is better than fat.

My pain is real. I have been unable to write this blog without taking breaks to cry heavily into my hands. I deeply hope this open letter to the world will help me take another painful and cathartic step in the right direction.

There are days I feel strong and up to the fight – days where I am grounded, I feel empowered and beautiful.

And, there are days when I want to scream.

Casey

Merida Before & After Photo

Here is the article where I found this image.

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Forever Haunted

I will forever be haunted by this photo of garment factory workers in Bangladesh. I had an early hand in their death.

I will forever be haunted by this photo of garment factory workers in Bangladesh.

bangladesh worker hug

I had an early hand in their death. Years ago I shopped for clothes for my young son and was always searching for the “cheap tee”. He ripped through them by using them – painting in them, playing in them, using them to their fullest. I can remember actually saying to a friend of mine while standing in a big box merchant, “How can they afford to sell these shirts for four dollars?”

Now I know they – we – can’t. The cost is too high, and these two people – and upwards of 1,000 others – paid the price I wasn’t willing to pay for expensive clothing.

My friend Missy stated it loud and clear at a charity event a few weeks ago when she was telling us all about the sponsors of the event and how we “vote with our dollars” and should “consider moving our money to the businesses who care about what we care about.”

Done.

Sloane

Photo credit: Taslima Akhter, Bangladeshi photographer and activist. Retrieved from: lightbox.time.com.

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My Walk with AIDS

On a Friday night over a week ago, I stood under a tent in a large urban park at a memorial service for no one in particular and for every one on this planet. I held the microphone in my hand and began. Began again. To tell my story of AIDS.

On a Friday night over a week ago, I stood under a tent in a large urban park at a memorial service for no one in particular and for every one on this planet. I held the microphone in my hand and began. Began again. To tell my story of AIDS.

Friday night was a small candlelight ceremony for those who have been lost to HIV/AIDS in our community, and they were celebrated that evening by those under the tent. But I have lost no one. No one I can hold up a photo for. No one I can memorialize on a T-shirt, flag or banner.

I held that microphone as tightly as I hold my son. That was who I was fighting for, I said. Sixteen years ago, I held a newborn boy in my arms as I volunteered for the first time along the route of the AIDS Walk. Months before he was born, a friend had asked me to help. Standing in the grass on a spring morning sounded magical to me in my eighth month of pregnancy. When the day arrived, it was dreamlike. Me, my husband, my new son – all sporting little red ribbons and helping a band entertain walkers and enthusiastic runners in the sun.

Last year's Walk.
Last year’s Walk.

Every year since, I have worked on the Walk and moved up through the volunteer ranks. Route helper, volunteer coordinator, project coordinator, special event committee person, steering committee member, Walk co-chair. Every year since that first one, I’ve had a little hand in mine or a little head in my eyesight on Walk day. My son has never missed a Walk and now joins me as a full-fledged committee member on one event. Walk day is a family reunion for all of us.

My story is short and simple. I desire deeply a world without AIDS for my son. For all sons and daughters and mothers and fathers. Sisters. Brothers. A world free of stigma and hate. Pointed fingers and whispered admonishments will be behind us. Every year I renew my commitment to making that world come to be.

d walking with flags

This year I stood in the light rain as my son walked by me carrying a dated memorial flag representing the 25 years of the AIDS Walk. Three long blocks later, I looked up, and there was my niece sporting a flag of her own. This one held the name of someone who no longer walks. She carried it to its final place with the others in a circle of flags that every one of the 2,000+ walkers walked by. My tears were easily covered by Mother Nature’s water show.

Beanie and her flag

They are my future and my chance to live in an AIDS free world. They’ve never known one.

I believe that they will.

Sloane

 

My niece in her AIDS Walk hat.
My niece in her AIDS Walk hat.

 

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Springtime Hello

My husband and I owned a home before the one we live in now. But to my father’s father, this is our first home. The other one was “nothing but air, really.” When we purchased the house we live in now, my grandfather practically rejoiced.

My husband and I owned a home before the one we live in now. But to my father’s father, this is our first home. The other one was “nothing but air, really.”

It was a condo in a converted warehouse downtown. The first such condos in Kansas City. We were practically pioneers! But to the midwestern farmer, a large space without bedroom walls four stories in the air isn’t something you own, is it? I called all of my grandparents when we closed on the condo because I was so proud. I owned something, and this, I felt, was something they could embrace with me.

Three of them did. One, not so much. He would call it “my apartment” while he and my Grandma Ginny made themselves comfortable on our sofa. I would smile and begin to tell him all about condo rules and association dues, beautification committees and other details. He looked at me with incredible blue eyes like I was speaking in tongues.

I moved on.

My grandmother loved the loft. She loved everything about her grandchildren, whether it involved property ownership or not. She clearly got the idea of how a loft was less work and less maintenance – snow removal, house painting, etc. – and I think it excited her a little. They had worked hard all of their lives on their home and properties. Our loft was a new concept, not only to them but to many Americans, and she sparkled while asking all about it and what we planned to do.

bridal wreath bush

When we purchased the house we live in now – the one with the yard work, the roof repairs, the exterior paint jobs – my grandfather practically rejoiced. This he could understand. We owned the actual dirt our house stood on. It was built of wood and stone and brick and it was solid. The neighbors weren’t on top of us or below us. They were a secure distance away.

My grandmother couldn’t wait to see the house. She waited until all our “pretties” were in place – which means she gave us about two weeks to get settled – and then they arrived. I was so terribly excited because they had agreed to spend the night – something they had never done at the loft, although my grandmother had wanted to. The lack of interior walls threw my grandpa for a loop.

In the back of the pick-up truck, under a cotton sheet and inside an old pickle bucket, was a collection of sticks with small green leaves on them stuck in crumbly mud. It was fall when they arrived, so these sticks were moving towards being done with the growing season. They looked sad and a wee bit pathetic. Until earlier that day, it had been part of a larger bush near their home in mid-Missouri.

My grandfather hauled them out and walked with me around “the property” to find a place to plant “this bush”. I was intrigued because what I saw in the bucket looked like what we had spent most of a week tearing out of our plot. Junk. Detritus. Weeds.

bridal wreath back corner

It wasn’t any of that. It was what my grandmother called a “bridal wreath bush. You’ll see what I mean next spring.”

I trusted them both in their ability to grow things. They were farmers, for goodness’ sake. So, I let my grandfather pick a spot in the far end of the back yard up in a raised bed. It made him happy. A little bit of run-off and a good spot not to “gather up too much late afternoon sun.”

And it has stayed there for almost twenty years, only getting bigger and needing no maintenance. My grandparents are gone now, but every spring I go out and tell them hello. This year, like every spring in the past, they were delighted to see me, and they put on quite a show.

Sloane

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We will run and we will remember

This continues to be a sad and tragic week in America.

I have been struggling with maintaining my inner happiness…

This continues to be a sad and tragic week in America.

I have been struggling with maintaining my inner happiness. Faced with all these events, how do I keep talking about free scarves, tailgate parties and art?

My friend Scotty Johnson, a marathon runner and remarkable woman, posted an image that said, “We will run and we will remember!”. This was a gift. I am not a runner in the traditional sense. But, I am a runner in the broader sense. I have had my foundation shaken many times and I have somehow taken a step and then another and then another…until I learned to run again.

Today I will work to just take that first step…

And, with my sister’s hand in mine, I pledge that every day at STUFF we will run. We will keep offering a place built on “happy”. A place where everyone is welcome to soak up joy, art and inspiration.

We will run and we will remember.

Casey

Casey & Sloane, Wings of Hope 2008
Casey & Sloane, Wings of Hope 2008

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Embracing Simplicity

Parades are funny things. Not just because of clowns and puppets and dogs. Not because of men in tutus and babies in top hats. Parades are funny because they bring out the best in America.

Parades are funny things. Not just because of clowns and puppets and dogs. Not because of men in tutus and babies in top hats.

Parades are funny because they bring out the best in America. The slowing down of time, the sitting still and watching the world go by, the embracing of simplicity.

Casey and Sloane

Last month’s Brookside St. Pat’s parade was the 11th time we have marched as a unit for STUFF. Every year we start thinking about it the minute the calendar clicks over to the new year. And every year we don’t start working on it until March starts. Lots of time in there between the thinking and the working, which is not like us.

We’ve learned to slow down and not rush into decisions. We’ve learned to let the magic of an idea sink in and then rise to the surface. This year we simplified and let the people who walk with us – the customers, the dogs, the children – tell our story.

We are about people, not product. We are about hand-crafting, not production. For one short parade route a year, we are about the color green and candy and laughter and shouting and smiling.

It’s that simple.

Casey & Sloane

The STUFF Honor Guard

Friends and family at the parade

Winner of STUFF's costume contest

The STUFF Honor Guard - mission accomplished

Banner bearers

Sloane and Casey - held together by Sloane's son

a store...     ...named...     SONY DSC

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Copyright Casey Simmons and S. Sloane Simmons. People who steal other people's words & thoughts are asshats. Don't be an asshat.