The STUFF Sisters

Power of Transference

I have never been one for morbid sensibilities. I don’t dwell in sadness, nor do I dabble in unwholesome thoughts. I am not gloomy.

Early this morning, before the sun was up, cancer consumed the life of a friend’s father. I had time last night to hold her and sway a bit in a hug that didn’t want to end. She was moving quickly towards the silences that would come with her father’s death, but we were taking a few more minutes to talk about things that had nothing to do with the tasks at hand. Several good laughs, a few inappropriate comments, a touch of bad behavior and moments of quiet in an overly-bright waiting room.

I have small town ways about me. They have to have come from the branches above me in my family tree, as I was not raised in a small town. One of those “ways” is that I stop for funeral processions. I pull over. No matter what. When they are coming toward me and when they are on my tail. I take these moments for contemplation about the people I have lost in my life. I remember myself in dark and quiet limos. I remember deep sadness and overwhelming relief. I give these moments time, because it’s what I have to give. Time. What can my hurry possibly be that I can’t stop to honor a family in pain? It’s minutes, really. Blinks of an eye.

So, this morning, I took a moment and spent time looking for pictures of my father. He is living with cancer and doing a bang-up job at it. It’s hard, and it will be his forever. My friend’s father has just ended a very short dance with a wicked disease.

I ache for my friend. I can never feel her pain, but, through the power of transference, I can weep for her loss and be there when the smiles return.

“Hold ’em tight,” I said to myself and others this morning. “Time is fleeting.”

p.s. Here are photos of my Dad and members of my family over the past year. Some of these I have used in previous blogs, and some I have not.

family portrait 2011 — Thanksgiving 2011

Instagram #6 – New York City

I am having a hard time picking my favorite…

I am having a hard time picking my favorite image from my New York City Instagram images. But, this one is near and dear to my heart.

There are other blogs by Casey that feature images from New York City.

Spasmodic Claustrophobia

Years ago I saw a photograph of the Golden Gate Bridge on either its birthday or maybe the day of a marathon. Don’t know. Can’t remember.

What I do remember is that I was overcome with a touch of claustrophobia. Just sitting there holding the magazine. The photo was majestic and magnificent, but I felt like I was the tiny person in the center of the bridge. Needing help possibly. Panicking maybe.

Today I was waiting for my primary care doctor to enter the not-too-big-not-too-small room for my physical. I waited a while longer than I wanted, but I was holding in there because he is a wonderful doctor and we seem to be on the same wavelength in regards to my health. Besides, I’m not a quitter.

Then, all of a sudden – possibly at minute 27 of the waiting – I needed to get out of the little room. Or at least open the door a wee bit and listen to the hall noise more clearly. The sound of my own increasing heart rate was deafening and not really all that interesting.

So I did just that. I popped the hatch.

I may not be able to control my self-diagnosed “spasmodic claustrophobia” but that crack in the door did more than let in new air. It released my mind.

And the sweet man even knocked before he entered. Dang. I can pick ’em.

p.s. This is not the photo from my memory. But it is darn close.

p.p.s I’ve never been to California. The Golden Gate Bridge must be a sight to behold.

Instagram #5 – New York City

New York City is different than any of the other places I travel. It has a hum…

I have been back from New York for close to 10 days. The trip was filled with inspiration. New York City is different than any of the other places I travel. It has a hum that keeps you energized for long days and short nights. I am enthralled with the diversity and cultural mix. I love my home town of Kansas City. I think it is a remarkable city, but sadly we still don’t offer the blend of cultures that you find in some other great American cities. Most notably, The Big Apple.

This is another batch of images I took with Instagram. I was reviewing the other blogs and I like the collection so far. But, I do feel now that I could have – and should have – taken more photos.

I would enjoy hearing which images you liked, didn’t like or found interesting.

PS. If you want to know where or what any image is, just drop me a comment.

Some other New York images blogs by Casey Simmons.

Instagram #4 – New York City

Tonight we headed down to SoHo for dinner and a long post-dinner stroll. I adore New York City at night…

Tonight we headed down to SoHo for dinner and a long post-dinner stroll. I adore New York City at night. You could roam the streets for hours and hours on end. The August weather this year is mild and soft. There was almost a chill in the air as we walked. I did not want the night to end. These images were taken during our wandering.

: Bike tire in a tree in SoHo, New York – 2012

Instagram #3 – New York City

This is a series of Instagram images I took on August 19, 2012, in New York City. They were all taken within four blocks of our hotel.

We discovered a new hotel in New York City. It opened in February of 2012. We took a chance and booked our stay with them. It was a great choice. We really like our digs and are planning to return. You can find this fab little hotel here.

Instagram #2

I wrote recently that I am pretty smitten with Instagram. Here is my second Instagram photo blog. These images are from our summer vacation to the beach in Florida. Sorry it took a while. My life kind of ran amok recently.

Vacation Epiphany

It has taken entirely too long to pinpoint why I love vacations near the ocean. I am 47 years old and have loved the water my whole life. I have reverence for the power of large bodies of water but no fear of them. I love swimming and can find great solace floating on water or diving under and holding my breath. Oceans. Pools. Lakes. Streams. Waterhoses. Doesn’t matter. Water makes me happy and makes me want to be a part of it. (Except bathtubs. I’ve never enjoyed them in the least, and it’s probably just about the temperature. But I digress.)

goodbye beach — Yep. The requisite sunset photo.

I love water-based vacations because, if I plan my day well, I can wake up and go directly to my swim suit from my pajamas, and then, at the end of a water logged day, I can move gracefully back to my pajamas or another form of lounge wear that doesn’t involve any form of undergarments. Right there. The pinpoint. After 47 years.

I have never had to suffer under the daily strain of panty hose. I have never lived in an era where girdles were de rigueur. But I am fed up and done with bras and most forms of underpants. Unfortunately, they are a necessity at my age, and I do miss my “commando” days. I am, however, tired of being confined, and, for two weeks a year, I make sure “foundations” have no part of my life.

grasses & sky — Dramatic sky before sunset.

I am the queen of fashioning a cover-up for trips to the grocery store and casual restaurants. That’s what scarves, old cotton skirts, and T-shirts are for. This last vacation was on a beach, and trips away from the house had me sporting my favorite oxford cloth button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled way up over my strapless swimsuit with its attached skirt. That’s the whole outfit. (OK. The suit has one detachable strap, but I despise tan lines, so I save the strap for special occations. Like boutique shopping, because that demands a level of stylishness, for heaven’s sake.)

almost evening — The view from my towel on day one. Possibly my favorite shot this year.

By the time I get to vacation each year, I have tired of feeling cooped up and locked down. And vacations, if done right, are about feeling exactly opposite. And, for two weeks, I am free as a bird and loving every minute of it.

p.s. These photos were taken on Anna Maria Island over the past two weeks. A trip off island to the fishing village of Cortez warranted the oxford cloth coverup and swimsuit strap you see here.

coverup & suit — My son, me, and the stylish swimsuit strap under oxford cloth.

Pursuing Good Stuff

Yep. It’s what I do. I truly pursue good stuff every day. On our recent trip to Colorado, I used one of our little buttons to remind me of what is fun and makes my life a bit more exciting.

And I also use these opportunities to brush up on my skills in the photographic arts with my Canon PowerShot SD1300 IS. I’m all over that sweet action.

This thistle and aster combination was lovely at breakfast. And tiny.

The rest stops in Kansas leave much to be desired. However, when you gotta go….

Right outside our room the day after the region’s first rain in a long time. This was one of many mushrooms that popped up and wilted by day’s end.

My son helped with the art direction on this shot. He was in charge of placement.

I loved the button against the texture of the bedspread in our room. Yes, we actually needed a bespread at night in Colorado!

I love to drive, and my husband caught this shot. I love how the turquoise in the necklace makes the pin seem bluer.

I’m a driving machine. The steering wheel was my friend for 11 hours over and 11 hours back.

Pursuing good stuff can take it out of me. But these three put it right back!

p.s. If you want to see last year’s Pursue Good Stuff pin on the road – once with Casey and once with me – click here and here.

Leavings

In the deeply gathering dusk a few nights ago, I stood in a small group of women and discussed the concepts of leaving. Of children leaving home for college. Of friends and their families leaving for different cities.

Three years ago I began publicly letting slip that I do not use the word goodbye. Remarkably, a woman in this little group admitted that she greatly disliked the word goodbye. We ran around and around the ways she doesn’t use it and in the end we were all laughing quite brightly.

I still don’t use the word. I wrote about this deeply held issue in a blog in July of 2009. It still stands today. Click here to read more.