The implementation was laughable and not at all picture perfect.
For six nights – randomly spaced from December 12th to December 29th – we sat in the dark and lit a candle. Each night, we chose a single word – I chose three of the nights, my husband chose twice, and, on the 29th, our son spoke the last one. The idea was to sit in silence and consider the word and the single flame. To think about the world. To think about us. To sit in quiet.
Honestly, when I dreamed this idea into being – inspired by a conversation earlier the same day with a friend about Hanukkah – I thought my husband would laugh at me. I prepared for that and had a response fully formulated in my head as to why this was important. His easy and comforting response, “Sounds good,” that first night had me staring speechless at our little flame and the word Peace.
All I wanted of the candle placement in our home was that it be near a window so I could see the flame’s reflection and the outside darkness. I achieved that. The card stock with the words stayed put throughout the long days and nights in between match strikes, held in place by the heft of an inherited sterling candlestick.
We sat in the dark the longest on that first night because I was choking back tears. I was tired from long days at work, full from a dinner my husband had made, and ready for my bed. (This last part may have been true when I turned my car into our darkened driveway an hour earlier.) It took me until I was just about to doze off to tell him that he surprised me with his willingness to do this borderline spiritual task with me. For the second time that night, he looked at me with eyes that let me know I am never alone in grasping for what’s better for our world and how we can play a small role.
Capturing a photograph of a single flame in the dark is for professionals, I can humbly attest. The image above was posted to Instagram and Facebook on December 12th and is the best I could do. No filter, no funny business.
We dripped wax on the card one night, and on another night we lost the top of the burned-out match. Both actions scarred the paper, and I was okay with that. Not picture perfect; not by a long shot.
All six of these words have sat heavily with me through the last days of December. All six, occasionally, have led my mind down a rabbit hole of wanting to understand them better.
I do not make resolutions when calendar pages turn or on anniversaries or upon the arrival home after vacations. What I do believe this year is that this list will guide me through 2018. I have stashed it right where I can find it if I go astray.
I will check it and see if I am staying on task with a list that holds the power of peace, the resiliency of compassion, the blessings of strength, the kindness of empathy, the humility of forgiveness, and the transformative nature of benevolence.
Happy New Year.
SHARE THIS: 
Inspiring words for everyone.
Carla:
Thank you for reading our blogs and for sending a nice note. It means a greats deal to know people read what you write and take time to send a quick note. Thanks. Truly.
I wish you a terrific new year.
– sloane
I love this! Pursue good stuff really
hits home. I have been walking in the
woods almost daily for the last 6 months.
It has changed my view of myself and so
many other parts of my world. I’m at peace
with my life and connections.
I have never before thought of compassion as being resilient. Thank you for sharing and for helping me think deeper. You are a walking blessing.
Barb:
What a nice thing to say. “… walking blessing”. Thanks.
I hope your new year rolls exactly the way you want it to and in the direction you choose! Thanks not only for taking time to read our blogs but for sending a note that touched me deeply.
You are a good soul. I am lucky to know you.
xoxox
– sloane
Thank you, Sloane, for sharing this exercise. This list of words has been accumulating in my thoughts over this last year like never before. I believe these words represent the forces that will raise us up to face the challenges in our lives in the manner we would most hope to confront them. I will copy your list and use it as my own if that’s okay with you.
Lori:
You can use this list any way you see fit. Well, not for evil, which you really wouldn’t do…
These were magical little moments at the end of long days. I still remember them vividly. I, too, will be working the list all year long.
xoxox
– sloane
p.s. Thanks for sending a note. It means the world.
Lovely indeed, just lovely.
Casey:
You are sweet. Thank you.
They were lovely little parts at the end of lovely days. I am lucky indeed.
xoxox
– sloane
Thank you for sharing this wonderful spontaneous ritual. It was inspiring to hear about your spiritual adventure.
Sally:
These nights were pretty magical. I am lucky.
Thanks for not only reading our blogs but for sending a note after taking the time for reading. You are sweet.
I wish you a fantastic new year. Thanks again.
-sloane
What a beautiful thing to do to mark a season when most people get into a frenzy that they don’t seem able to avoid. Thank you for giving an example of a family that made time for reflection and thoughtfulness.
Tamara:
Thanks for reading our blog and taking time to send a note to me. I am thankful.
I love the holidays and my profession, which is tied to it tightly. I also loved these six nights – and these words – and will remember them for a long time.
Again, thanks for the note and wonderful word “frenzy”. I love it.
– sloane
Love it, Sloane. We used to do Epiphany words each year. Jan. 6-ish usually being that time, we would send attachments of stars that our friends and family could click on. The word on the star where they clicked, could be considered a guiding word throughout the year. It’s always been very interesting to see how the word causes a new kind of contextual awareness.
Thanks
Ruth-Ann:
I love your idea, too!
Words are powerful things, a lesson taught to me very young my a mother and grandmother. These six nights – and words – were pretty special.
I wish you a happy, happy new year!
– sloane
You chose 6 of the best words out there for contemplation. I like the idea and I bet there are more out there that do, too. Thank You.
Vickie:
Thank you for reading our blog and sending a note as well. You are very kind.
I hope your new year is fantastic and full of every thing you love.
– sloane
this is wonderful. thank you. these words hold so much energy…
Marla:
Thank you for taking the time to not only read our blog but to find the extra time to send a note. I am touched.
I wish you a fantastic new year full of magic and surprise. I find those two help when the grind gets to be too much!
All my best and thanks again.
– sloane
wow. i tried only to say wow but ironic that a response requires 15 characters.
you are wow-ly humans. each of you. wow.
Rachelle:
Thanks for the WOW.
(And, I had no idea is required 15 characters! I appreciate all your other letter choices as well).
Much xoxox in the new year!
– sloane
Inspiring! Beautiful! Happy New Year- may it be filled with the good stuff!
Susan:
Thank you for yoyr wishes! I hope your new year is everything you want it to be … and more!
You are kind to send a note after reading our blog. I am grateful and touched that you took the time.
Be well and thanks again.
– sloane
I’m going to do that for three nights. I think three is enough for me .. Great idea!
Louann:
First, thank you for reading our blog(s) and taking time to send a note. It means a lot.
Second, if the shoes fits, wear it. We had no idea where this would lead but six was where we ended.
Happy New Year!
– sloane
I needed this as I begin a new year and contemplate how to be a light to others this year. Those six words, your dedication to your family, Brookside, KC and Stuff bring hope for this new year. Your blog is always a special treat.
Julia!
Thanks for not only reading our blogs for taking precious time to send a kind note. Thank you.
Your contemplation will guide you, of that I am sure.
Happy New Year!
– sloane