Today I exhaled. It took a trip to Houston – and good news – to realize that I had been holding my breath for a year. And I had been turning blue.
Today I exhaled.
It took a trip to Houston – and the receipt of good news – to realize that I had been holding my breath for a year. And I had been turning blue.
Today we found out that my Dad finally has his lymphoma on the run. It’s not gone, and he’s not in remission. But it is being shown the door.
Yesterday in Houston. My step-mother Vickie, Casey and my Dad.This past year I have been breathing, just not deeply. I had been taking shallow breaths and waiting for the good to arrive. I had been hoping that my life wouldn’t experience great loss. I had been holding my breath while moving forward and all the time wondering why I was winded. Why climbing the stairs was such a strain.
M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, Houston
Because when you are hoping beyond hope and wishing beyond the stars, you really don’t have time to take a deep breath.
But today I did. I reached the bottom of my lungs, held it there to feel the burn, and then let it all out.
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5 thoughts on “Turning Blue”
simply beautiful piece of writing. i’m so glad your family received good news. and that you have the blues on the run, too. xo-aaa
I am so happy for your good news. What a tough battle your family has been fighting.
I’m touched by your words of breathing again. I’ve learned recently that it is a natural response to stresses and traumas, and one that we most often have no idea is happening. For the past year I have been working with a great doctor, doing breathing exercises daily (actually hourly) to re-train my body and mind to breathe fully (and there are still times I catch myself not breathing and have to change my focus). It is such a natural protection mechanism built into us (fight-flight-freeze) that happens without us realizing. It takes that awareness, that I am so happy you discovered, that brings us back to life. Thank you for sharing your story. Keep breathing. 🙂
Sloane and Casey –
Heard the good news last night and am so relieved for your and the family that there was finally progress in the battle. Your dad has been one hell of a trooper.
Love you – Lori
This is such a beautiful and thought provoking piece. Share your joy and hope that every day is filled with deep breathing!
simply beautiful piece of writing. i’m so glad your family received good news. and that you have the blues on the run, too. xo-aaa
I am so happy for your good news. What a tough battle your family has been fighting.
I’m touched by your words of breathing again. I’ve learned recently that it is a natural response to stresses and traumas, and one that we most often have no idea is happening. For the past year I have been working with a great doctor, doing breathing exercises daily (actually hourly) to re-train my body and mind to breathe fully (and there are still times I catch myself not breathing and have to change my focus). It is such a natural protection mechanism built into us (fight-flight-freeze) that happens without us realizing. It takes that awareness, that I am so happy you discovered, that brings us back to life. Thank you for sharing your story. Keep breathing. 🙂
Sloane and Casey –
Heard the good news last night and am so relieved for your and the family that there was finally progress in the battle. Your dad has been one hell of a trooper.
Love you – Lori
This is such a beautiful and thought provoking piece. Share your joy and hope that every day is filled with deep breathing!
So good