I gave up on envying hair and hair styles when I stopped paying for very smelly perms that I thought would make me look like Andi McDowell. Twenty years have passed since I tried curly hair, and I’ve managed without the help of a therapist.
But coveting is something I have not grown beyond.
I don’t have to look too far up either side of my family tree to see grey hair. One grandmother had what some have called a “skunk stripe” when grey hair came along, and the other grandmother I never knew as any way but natural silver grey. Both, at the end of their lives, were true silver, and it was lovely when cancer didn’t leave it patchy. My grandfathers were silver, but mostly bald – or closely shaved – and my father has been slowly introducing more salt to the pepper for quite a while. My mother has dabbled with hair color for many years, I believe, and she does it very well. But it’s my sister, Casey, that has carried grey hair to what I see as a pinnacle.
Her hair is amazing and totally natural. Part silver and part brown with remnants of blonde. She stopped all chemicals when she was pregnant and has never looked back. I think she looks like a super model of the Ralph Lauren and Sundance variety, but I’m one of her greatest fans and am possibly a tiny bit biased.
This past Friday, I joined the ranks. My friend, John, said over the sink before cutting my hair, “Oh my gosh, you have grey hair, and quite a bit of it.” I took him by surprise when I said, “Awesome,” and I know the surprise continued around the room as I looked at the faces of those in the other chairs. I’m not so naive as to think that my wanting grey hair has put a stop to the multi-million dollar hair coloring industry. It was the next comment he made that was the icing on the cake for me: “You know, grey hair is thicker than all the others.” Imagine my luck! I got my wish for grey hair and thick hair in one trip to the beauty salon! Can you imagine what I’ll be like if the grey hair comes in curly, too?
Yes. I can admit it right here in “group”: I have coveted my sister’s hair for going on five years. I have even coveted strangers’ hair as I have moved through my daily life. I even walked up to a total stranger at the convention center in New York, told this woman I really like her hair, and asked if she colored it. The answer was No, but I think I already knew that because it looked authentic. (And, yes, you can just tell.) Our conversation continued for a few minutes, with me finally asking the question my sister had prodded me to ask before setting me free: “Did you live as a brunette or a blonde before grey set in?”
She had been both. First blonde, then brunette. With a stranger in my camp, and with my family there as well, I’m on my way to happy times.
I can’t wait to see how this turns out.
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Love this post, Sloane! And am so glad you pointed me to it. I’m not quite ready for gray hair – but I’m certainly old enough for it. I’m lucky in that I only have a few grays rearing their heads, which is odd, because I’m old as hell. But I can say this – if I had to color my hair every three weeks, I would go gray. On the flip side, and your readers can chastise me if they want, as a woman in the work force, there is something to be said for having to be careful. It’s great to own your age and let your abilities and successes speak for themselves, but that’s in a perfect world. And alas, the world in which we live is NOT perfect -at least not for many women, especially those in the corporate world.
My thoughts? Let’s not judge one another. Let’s support one another. If you like gray hair and want to let yours go – I think that’s awesome if it makes you happy. And if you want to color your hair – for whatever reason under the sun, I think that’s okay, too.
My daily mission (for myself anyway) is to accept and support more, judge less. And when it comes to this topic, that very much applies, too.
Thanks for sharing this with me!
Shelly
Your hair will look beautiful! I loooooove long, silver hair on women.